Written by Chris Josh
The worst time to look for a relationship is when you're feeling lonely. Why? Because you'll choose the wrong person almost 100% of the time.
This is because you'll miss the red flags or simply disregard them altogether in order to lock the person down.
You'll also settle for the first person who shows you any interest.
It's a lot like grocery shopping on an empty, growling stomach. You almost always end up spending way more than you intended and you buy more junk food than you had liked to.
So what should you do? You should address your co-dependency issue:
- Learn to love yourself more.
- Establish a self-care routine if you haven't done so already.
- Find a hobby or two.
- Read 30 minutes a day.
- Meditate 15 minutes a day.
- Recite your affirmations throughout the day.
- Write down your goals.
- Write down your manifestations.
Get in the habit of smiling on the inside and outside more. Look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, "I love you!"
It won't be long before you start to cherish your own company and that serene, beautiful peace.
Cease the seeking of a relationship altogether and watch how you eventually magnetize the right person who is going to respect and value you.
We've all been lonely at one point or another, including myself. And I made a HUGE mistake by getting into a terrible relationship all because I didn't want to be alone. I missed ALL the red flags. That's ok though. You live and you learn.
Hopefully, you and I don't repeat any of our mistakes.
Has this happened to you? Have you ended up with a toxic person because you were eagerly looking for someone to keep you company? Let me know in the comments section.
22 comments
Too much to discuss however point being
I’ve only had one person that after my accident showed me through showing me the “red flags” that I not only could still love and give the best of me .
However, I couldn’t keep up with his life constant validation of the people around him .
Had to be on point , pretty enough etc
About 4 months into the relationship he looked at me after I had sang to a lot of our friends ( we are in same town ) that he actually looked at me and said “ you know you are pretty” .
I was like WTH ?!
I kept it in .
I shortly broke up with him because it hit me so hard .
I’m not the same and I’m not just arm candy or someone that needs to find love in the wrong places.
It was up to me to do all the work . A person that truly loves you they will look for the things your lacking and they will accommodate . Both sides not just one . 🐬
Too much to discuss however point being
I’ve only had one person that after my accident showed me through showing me the “red flags” that I not only could still love and give the best of me .
However, I couldn’t keep up with his life constant validation of the people around him .
Had to be on point , pretty enough etc
About 4 months into the relationship he looked at me after I had sang to a lot of our friends ( we are in same town ) that he actually looked at me and said “ you know you are pretty” .
I was like WTH ?!
I kept it in .
I shortly broke up with him because it hit me so hard .
I’m not the same and I’m not just arm candy or someone that needs to find love in the wrong places.
It was up to me to do all the work . A person that truly loves you they will look for the things your lacking and they will accommodate . Both sides not just one . 🐬
maybe when i was younger.
Thanks so much for this. This just confirms that I’m on the right track and things are getting better because today was a day where I applied so much self care to myself. But I forgot that I love you part. Sometimes I’m so focused on loving God that I forget to say I love you to myself. And I’m living in a time where so many people want me to hate myself, and reading your words sent me free from something that I didn’t even know was troubling me. God bless you greatly. And yeah, my standards are so different now. I’m a person that cares way too much for people and tends to pick people because I feel bad for them. I’m the person that always wants to help someone, but this time I’m going to choose someone that can help themself. Of course loving each other would just be an added bonus. Shalom!
Spot on Chris. Thank you for all you do in supporting the healing process for many.